The Story of Nikamma

Long long ago, when men were still men, and the likes of Karan Johars were not allowed to tick the box, which read "Male" in any application form, lived a cool dude called Nikhil. His full name was Nikhil Abraham Singh, thus being the first real life embodiment of religious tolerance.

While growing up, he showed signs of greatness by preaching about different religions, and explaining why one should respect all the religions. He was lovingly called Nick, by the Westerners, who found it rather difficult to pronounce Nikhil, but found no difficulty in pronouncing !!beelay@#.
( I swear I didn't make that up!!)

Nikhil's father was a very hard working farmer, while his mother was very easy going and lazy. (Yes, Coulomb had come up with his "Opposite poles attract each other" law by then, and thus the people never wondered how they ended up marrying each other!!)
In the same town, lived Deb, a wealthy landlord, who inherited a fortune after the death of his father in law. Oh by the way, his wife's name was Jyoti. The couple loved each other a lot, and everyone fondly called them Deb- jyoti.

Now Debjyoti had a very lazy servant called Sushant. Sushant was the personification of lethargy. He didn't want to work and dreamt about the lower half of Debjyoti all the time. He was a pervert and the lower half ,of course, means Jyoti- Deb's wife.

One fine morning, when Nikhil was meditating under a banana tree, he saw his mother walking upto him. (PS: He could not meditate under the neem tree because the ground around it was covered with cacti. ). His mother came and sat down next to him. After an hour, Nikhil finished meditating and saw that his mother had fallen asleep next to him. So he got up and went home, leaving his mother fast asleep under the banana tree.

Late in the afternoon, landlord Deb was returning home with his friend Babu, who ran a jewelers shop in the same town. They happened to notice Nikhil's mother still sleeping under the tree. Now everyone in the town knew Nikhil, but very few people knew who Nikhil's mother was. But Babu was the town jeweller, and thus he knew Nikhil's mother very well. After all, she alone accounted for a quarter of his sales.

Deb, looked down at the sleeping woman and said with disgust, "Who is this woman, sleeping at mid-day? and that too, by the roadside? And under a banana tree, when a banyan tree is just a couple of yards away??
(Now don't ask me why Nikhil wasn't meditating under the banyan tree. And I wasn't aware there was a banyan tree around anyway!!)

Babu replied, "Oh brother, she is the laziest woman in the world. She sleeps all day and snores all night. Wonder what she will be re-incarnated as, in the next life? After all, its our Karma which decides our future. That is why I have been such an honest jeweller and never cheat nor lie to my customers. "

"You don't lie??", asked Deb with bewilderment in his eyes, "Yesterday you told bhai Chandra that even though he had put on a lot of weight, it was impossibe to notice it. You even said that his protuding belly, actually made him look irresistable to the women folk of our town!"

"I never lied to him", explained Babu, " I just didn't tell him the truth, and there is a lot of difference between the two."

"Like what??"

"Well, for beginners there is a huge spelling difference. And its the spellings which make up a word, and if spellings are different, then the words are different. So, if words are different, how can they mean the same thing? Then both have different pronunciations. One begins with a 'l while the other begins with a 'h... While the former is a single word - Lie, the latter is a combination of three words - Hiding the truth!!", finished off Babu, with a dismissive air.

"Sighhhh!!!!!!", sighed Deb. He always knew Babu was smarter than him, and thus scored more than him in English as well as Math all throughout school and college. "But who is the woman?? Shouldn't we wake her up and tell her to go home and sleep?"

Babu had started walking ahead , as he saw a chance to get a lift all the way to his home. But he did turn back and reply," Forget it brother. She is very lazy... Just like your servant, Sushant. Let her sleep there and you go home...."

"But who is she?", shouted Deb to Babu who was already very far away by now.

"Nikh....(il's.... -inaudible ) amma. Very lethargic!!" and Babu disappeared behind a cloud of dust. (In case you didn't know, he had been offered a lift on a horse cart.)

Now Deb started walking alone, wondering and speaking to himself, "Nikamma? Very lethargic? What did Babu mean? " . After much deliberation, he came to a conclusion that since Babu was smarter than him, he had used a very hi-fundoo word for lethargic. NIKAMMA!! Deb was a fast learner and he wanted to try out his vocabulary on unsuspecting innocent people.

So when he reached home, he called out to Sushant. He came rushing out of Jyoti's room, tying the cord of his pyjama and looking very scared. Shouted Deb," Sushant!!! You are Nikamma!!"

Now Sushant knew he was caught but didn't like being called names. He retorted," No sir, I am Sushant. Maybe you are Nikamma!!" This infuriated Deb, who reached out to slap Sushant, but suddenly suffered a heart attack and ........

Meanwhile Deb's lawyer, Advocate Siddhartha (M.A.Llb) heard about the untimely ................. and forged Deb's will. He transferred all of Deb' earthly possession to his name and lived happily ever after. He also kicked Sushant out of the house and married Deb's widow.

And they lived happily ever after.

Moral of the story : If you learn a new word, shut the fuck up!!!

(Disclaimer: All characters in this story are purely fictional, and any resemblance to anyone dead or alive is purely co-incidental. Those who do not agree, kindly refer to the last four words of the moral. )