A CONVERSATION

Does God Exist?? I don't know...
Why do you keep a cross with yourself all the time? Human Nature.
Did you believe in God? Yes, I did.
Did you believe in God? No, I didn't.
Do you believe in God?? I don't know..
If there was no God, how do you explain the origin of Universe and Life?I couldn't care less. I have my entire life to find out.
Do you read the Bible daily? No. but frequently.
What did you learn from it? Too many questions.
Did you seek help? It leads to more questions.
When did you go for Confession? I'll confess it's been a long time.
Don't you like God? Get lost and leave me alone.
God loves you nonetheless Danny!! I walked on.

The Old Man

The rain drenched Oak tree,

has a wooden bench under its boughs,

where a frail old man sits daily,

as the evening draws.

I see him everyday at five,

from the window of my room,

Trudging slowly uphill,

Be it the Fall or the Bloom!!

He sits on the bench alone till dark,

 which comes quickly on our hills,

Treading softly on the grass, 

Then he walks back where he dwells.

Who is he? I do not know,

though someone did tell me,

A 'gora Christian' he was, who had

rebelled against his family.

Fell in love with a Hindu,

 of the native Pahadi tribe,

Expelled from the Church,

 The day he took her as his wife.

Hand in hand, would they sit

Under that very old Oak tree,

Unconcerned how the world passed by,

Happy as they could be.

Then - Tragedy befell 

One chilly foggy night,

When Fever struck down his Love -

Death prevailed.... O Feeble Life!!

O how he had cried and mourned,

O What misery!! People say,

The parish priest had sent a note,

"NOW you can enter the church & pray."

That was sixty years ago, they say,

 and not a day since then he has missed,

When he would walk to the same Oak tree,

and of his departed wife , reminisced...

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.
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.
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A fearsome storm had raged last night,

 and uprooted the ageing Oak tree,

Today my old man has not come,

I'm wondering where he could be!!

One day over!! Two days passed..

  Now a week has gone by,

I was certain he would come,

  - if only to see the tree & sigh!

I asked people in the bazaar, 

  and met this man, who did tell..

The old man had breathed his last,

 The night the Oak tree fell!!

MY HEART & I

I sat, while it drizzled, alone at the railway station,
"Talk to me", it said," Have with me, a conversation...
You like to be left alone, I know, but we have time to kill,
Your night mail is unduly late, and all that moves is still!"

I unheard what I heard, and not once did I blink,
My Heart looked at me... and for a moment, I think -
it was certain that I would share, convinced that I would talk,
But I ignored it as usual... and got up for a little walk.

"Danny... You're doing it to me over, disregarding me once again,
I have almost had it with you, you know!!", did my heart complain.
A deep breath I took, and silently, walked back to the lonesome bench,
My heart had begun to hurt me now, like a hammer striking a wrench.

"Listen to me Dan... for once in Life.. Listen.. I beg of you,
Your Soul was not so cold as now.. You were not always blue!!
What happened was a long time back,  and yes, Memories hurt us still,
but too long have you punished yourself and the void is hard to fill!!

The grief that you carry… the sorrows of your care
All the Pain, locked deep in me, is now difficult to bear!!
the Aches have compounded with time and press against my wall,
I'm afraid I can't take it now, CHANGE... or prepare to fall!!"

The drizzle had turned to steady rain with sudden gusts of wind,
The pain was unbearable now, but all I did was grinned...
The stubborn me, would not bend to the whims & pangs of my heart,
 The World's was still a stage, where I was nearing the end of my part.

Stubborn was my Character and Indifference was its hue,
Who had experimented with emotions once that had felt so new.
Deviated from the Script, I had crafted my own lines,
But Reality had other plans, for I had played a part, not Mine!

A searing pain shot through my left, gasping for breath was I,
Cried my heart again to me, “Danny… Change or I –
Will beat no more cause I hurt so much deep inside…
Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you... Long enough I have tried!!”

“You”, I said, “My dear heart, you know me oh so well…
The hurt I have locked inside, I have nobody to tell.
If you feel that if I don’t change, I’ll push us to our end,
Then so be it, dear Heart – but one last favour, I pray you extend.”

“No more favours!!” sighed my heart, “The Pain is too much to endure,
If you aren’t willing to Change, then it’s in vain to beat anymore!!
For once, think about the loved ones, you will leave behind to grieve!!
.. Alas!! Good bye & Sleep Well, Dear Dan, I must now take your leave!!”

There was lull for a while, when neither my heart spoke, nor me,
Silence, only broken by the breeze, rustling up the trees!!
I struggled to get up, I wished for one last stroll…
I stumbled on the rain soaked earth - the last time I did fall.

One loud whistle, then a thunder, the night mail came hurtling by,
Alone drenched on the platform… lay my Woeful Heart & a Lifeless I.

A Letter

My dearest darling Sugar,

I know you are one of the very few people who visits my blog religiously, hoping to find a new post... and I also know that you will NEVER comment on any of my posts. You will read, giggle, smile, empathize and sympathize, but never comment, even though you want to... Anyway, why should you??? After all, you do get to nag me and grumble at me everyday :P :P :P

So, I decided to SHOCK you by writing a letter to you, and posting it on my blog. You can come to my cabin and yell at me as much as you feel like :)

 I wish I was a seasoned writer, who could express himself elaborately, and hold your attention for the entire length of this letter. I don't even know where to start my letter from. They say, a strong beginning and a stronger ending, are the most critical aspects of any good composition. This letter will certainly be lacking in both. However, I feel that's perfectly acceptable, considering how we embarked on our journey in 2003. This letter follows the same pattern of our relationship - a very confused beginning (errrr.. atleast from ONE side) and yet, a near perfect journey of compatibility.

Its been over 9 years and not a day has gone by, when I do not feel blessed to have you in my life. From the days of sitting on the back benches in the classroom L323, and gazing at you through most of the lecture hours, till today, the only thing that has changed has been my linearly increasing yearning for you. My constantly elongated 'sigh's and 'hai's are proof enough for that. 

Look at you... big time researcher.. doing Phd.. in the field of photonics...soon you shall be Dr. Sugar!! I can't believe that you have grown up so quickly... but... it makes sense... I have gone from being a 20-ish guy to a "will kick the bucket anyday" buddha as well...Time just flew by!! Everyday I wake up, I wake up with a smile, chest filled with pride ... just because I know you. I know at the end of the day, you would have done something brilliant, even though you don't notice it. Its all natural you see...you do brilliant things, and you don't even notice.. I solve one stupid silly differential equation, and I announce to the world.. pride!! I only hope that one day.... just ONE DAY in life, I can make you feel as happy as you make me feel.

To be honest, I don't understand why you love me. (NO, You are not allowed to repeat the same thing. :P :P). You are so beautiful and extremely talented, while I am ugghh-lyy and the only talent I have is being untalented!!!

When I reflect on our journey together, I'm filled with shame... I have embarrassed you no ends and let you down, at almost every juncture and phase, while you have stood by me, resolutely and unperturbed all the while... never demanding.. never asking. You have grown from being a jumpy maniac to such beautiful woman, mature in thoughts, playful, intelligent and wise....... and me.... well... my only accomplishment during the same period has been the ever increasing diameter of my tummy. You deserve so much better.... soooooooooooooooooo much better!!! 

Sugar, I know I have never been a great guy to you... and I have taken so many things for granted. I dont know how I became like this... but If I could pick any woman in the world to spend every moment of the rest of my life with, it would be you. If I had a choice to have all the treasures in the world or spend my life with you, I would not even think twice... I would be with you. I am not sure how I got so lucky to have you, but I know I am the luckiest man alive, because I am with you. In all the dreams I've had in life, it seemed impossible that I would be with someone as warm and caring as you. You are everything I dreamt of and even more.

So, I am writing this today...to tell you that I LOVE YOU. I will give you my life, my love and share everything I have to offer with you. I will cherish you, honor you, cherish you, be loyal to you, and put no one else before you, forever! Please stay by my side for all eternity. My heart mind, body and soul are yours. 

Simply... I love you ... and shall do so, till the end of my life. 

Yours alone,

Manga...........